Mes Bonnes Résolutions

Mes Bonnes Résolutions // My New Year Resolutions

The last prompt I am going to use is “resolution”, résolution.

It has many meanings of course, but on this occasion I liked the idea of the cat trying to write at least one “New Year Resolution”. As you can see, he is having difficulties. And that’s because he is pretty perfect already. You can’t imagine how difficult it is to improve on perfection.

In the last issue (I hope) of quarantine news, today is the first day we can go out and have something in a street cafe. That is to say, only the outside bits of the bars and restaurants are open. In a little while, we will try to venture outside and find ourselves a free table somewhere. Wish us luck.

Mémé m’a envoyé un colis

Mémé m’a envoyé un colis // Granny sent me a package

Today’s prompt is “mom”, maman.

The word maman led me to think about jams and preserves by Bonne Maman company, which we used to buy a lot in the UK. Yes, I know it might sound strange, but to a Russian ear maman in its original meaning sounds either awfully pretentious or somewhat disrespectful (long story). While about Bonne Maman jams I have only good things to say. So. Bonne-maman means “granny”, and so does much shorter and childish mémé. I think I managed to explain it away, mmm?

The cat just got a parcel full of home-made jams from his granny. He looks happy, I know I would be. My favourite is sour cherry, what’s yours?

In quarantine news, messages are still very much mixed about what is allowed and what is not starting tomorrow. The thing that puzzles most (myself including) is that you are apparently allowed to go and drink in a bar or shopping any time of day, while sports and simply walks are still restricted to the same hours of day as before. I tend to think that people devising the phases are focused of getting the economy going somehow, while the sports and walks schedule is managed by the Ministry of Health, and they are not on speaking terms with each other.

Première loi de Newton ou principe d’inertie

Première loi de Newton ou principe d’inertie // Newton’s first law or principle of inertia

Today’s prompt is “law”, loi.

The Newton’s first law of motion says:

Tout corps persévère dans l’état de repos ou de mouvement uniforme en ligne droite dans lequel il se trouve, à moins que quelque force n’agisse sur lui, et ne le contraigne à changer d’état.

All bodies persevere in the state of rest or uniform movement in a straight line in which they find themselves, unless some force acts on them, and compels them to change their state.

The “law of inertia” is used so much to explain all sort of (non)occurrences, not necessarily physical ones, that it almost lost its original meaning. I, for one, completely forgot about the “movement in straight line” part of it.

In quarantine news: Canaries are moving to phase 1 of de-quarantining on Monday. I am still not quite sure how it will work, but surely there will be more freedom to move and do stuff. So... I will draw a last pic-a-day on Monday and the take a well-deserved break.

La soupe est trop salée

Quand il y a plusieurs cuisiniers, la soupe est trop salée // When there are several cooks, the soup is too salty

Today’s prompt is “soup”, soupe.

The quote is allegedly an Italian proverb, its English equivalent being “too many cooks spoil the broth”, and much more scary Russian one «у семи нянек дитя без глаза» (“seven nannies — a kid without an eye”).

In quarantine news, nothing much. Canaries are expecting a go-ahead from the health ministry for the remaining five islands to enter into Phase 1 of de-quarantining (we are now at Phase 0). What that entails, we’ll see soon enough. So far I can see that small businesses which were originally intending to wait till 11th to open, are opening already. Small observation: although time seems to be dragging endlessly, the quarantine-related rules and regulations are changing way too fast still. As a consequence, right now every shop has a selection of opening hours, conditions of service and maximum number of customers displayed in their window. Some of these hastily printed notes contradict each other, especially the opening hours. In good news, I bought myself a new sketchbook at Carlin. It has 80 pages, so I am hoping we will be finally leaving in “new normality” when I finish it.

Une salle de lecture

Une salle de lecture — espace aménagé dans une bibliothèque... // A reading room — space in a library...

Today’s prompt is “newspaper”, journal.

One of the few things which were permitted during the strictest stage of the quarantine was to buy newspapers and magazines. While the whole concept of printed news seems pretty obsolete, people do buy papers here. Admittedly, it’s mostly older generation that does that. But newspapers have one undeniable advantage over mobile devices — you can hide behind them with ease. Also, at the times when putting all sorts of barriers between yourself and the others is all the rage, they serve as ones, cheap, disposable, and non-plastic.

In our favourite library (still, closed, alas, and it is not clear at all when it will open), almost the whole of the ground floor is dedicated to periodicals. Before the quarantine started, the chairs were facing each other; after the quarantine there will be re-arrangements, I imagine.

In other news — nothing much. Delicatessen stores are opening; some only for a few hours per day. We run out of rooibos tea and today’s mission is to go buy it. It still feels a bit like a military sortie, but we figure that if stores are allowed to open, customers should be able to get there somehow.

La devise d’un chat sage

La devise d’un chat sage: peu de biens avec liberté // The motto of a wise cat: few goods with freedom

I discovered yesterday that I skipped one prompt and was using them with a sort of frameshift mutation.

First I thought I’d just do one impromptu pic, but when I looked up phrases with the missed prompt “estate”, biens, this French proverb came up and I found it irresistible.

So here is the wisest cat of the all, with all his earthly possessions in a small furoshiki bundle, enjoying a bonfire by waterside. Simple pleasure.

In quarantine diaries, the first mad rush for the morning exercise definitely subsided in our area, perhaps because there is no access to the beach. I take it Las Canteras are still quite busy in the mornings. In the evenings, however, it is like a rave along the promenade. Safety distances are not kept, that’s for sure. Some more small businesses opened yesterday. There is a small two-chair barbershop two doors away from ours. They opened on Monday afternoon already, now being just one-chair affair. Yesterday, when I walked home, there was a guy sitting on a bench outside, obviously expecting his turn. Out of curiosity, I asked him how it was arranged, because you are supposed to have an appointment. He says he got his via WhatsApp, but, he added, they don’t have free anything till Thursday. So all these wild hair will stay with us for a while, I imagine.

Mes petites cellules grises

Cette histoire m’intrigue énormément, comme un défi lancé à mes petites cellules grises //
This story intrigues me greatly, as a challenge to my little gray cells

Today’s prompt is “cell”, cellule.

By a happy coincidence, the Spanish television is now showing Agatha Christie’s Poirot series, and Hercule Poirot is extremely fond of talking about his “little grey cells”, so here is the cat, dressed in his sharpest grey summer suit as a tribute to the famous detective (especially as portrayed by David Suchet). He looks extremely elegant, in my professional opinion. The only big(ish) detail that is missing is a pocket watch chain, and that’s because with my bad (again) Internet I can’t work out how it is supposed to be worn.

In quarantine news, yesterday and very SUDDENLY! ©, with less than a 24-hour warning, the small shops, hairdressers and barbers got a permission to open under certain conditions. Only very few could react as fast as all that. Yesterday, on my way to a bigger supermarket I walked along the main commercial street of Triana barrio. As far as I could see, practically everything was still closed, including the shops which have the permission to open. Happily, my favourite office and art supply store Carlin was open, even if it was just a temporary counter placed across the doorway. You had to tell the lady attendant what you wanted and she’d go in and fetch it for you. I got a new Sakura Koi pen brush, to draw more cats.

Le gagnant prend la première vague

Le gagnant prend la première vague // The winner takes the first wave

Today’s prompt is “winner”, gagnant.

So here is the cat, winning the first wave of the morning on Las Canteras. The slot allowed for non-professional sports, including aquatic, is currently from 6 am to 10 am, the evening slot is shorter and has almost no daylight. Surfers (all sportsmen, actually) are not allowed to take a motorised vehicle to get to the place where they do their thing, everybody has to get there under their own steam. So many of them are pretty puffed when they finally arrive.

Today is the third day of allowed physical exercise and things are going ok, except it’s Monday and some people, in theory, are going to work. So, being generous, you can assume the electric scooters are back on bicycle paths for a good reason (though I strongly suspect not all of them are). Regulations for those are still lacking, and they are public menace at the best of times. Right now, when everybody is trying to walk, run and cycle within the same allowed slot, they are downright danger.

Premier principe de la thermodynamique

Le premier principe de la thermodynamique: <...> il y a conservation de l’énergie //
The first law of thermodynamics: <...> there exists conservation of energy

Today’s prompt is “physics”, physique.

The cat confirms it: conservation of energy exists. He also thinks it makes good sense to conserve the old energy there. In fact, he is an absolute expert on conservation of energy. Look at him there in his hammock, conserving it with all his might. He was reading a book about himself, but then the sudden urge to conserve overwhelmed him.

In quarantine news: today it looks like people are adapting to the new schedules, there was no such mad rush to open spaces as yesterday morning. Of course, yesterday towards the evening all the papers were full of reports of various violations of regulations, photos of seemingly crowded streets and parks, the number of fines given, etc., etc..., but I rather think it went ok, more or less.

Qui est un chat heureux?

Qui est un chat heureux? // Who is a happy cat?

Today I am skipping the prompt. Today, at the long last, we were officially let out of our houses to stretch our legs — for the first time in a month and a half. Of course, you stretch your legs when you go to supermarket, but it’s hardly the same thing. Every age group got its own timeband. Some lucky people get to walk a few times — with kids, with elderly relatives, with dogs (btw, those guys were out and about all the time), but the point is, now everybody can finally get their turn in fresh air. Yay.

Parks and beaches are also opened for sports and walks (not for leisure bathing or suntanning though). I was playing with a thought of trying to get to Las Canteras in my timeband for a quick swim, but decided against it. I was right — already saw some videos of complete and utter madness there, everybody in water, surfers mixed with swimmers, and mind you, in general people here are surprisingly bad at swimming. They go to play with the waves and sunbathe, and stay within five meters from the edge, and swimmers (yours truly included) are normally very few. I hope nobody got hurt in this first mad rush.

The cat went out for a walk into an exceptionally pretty park of Pueblo Canario. The flowers are jacaranda, angels’ trumpets and blue daisy flowers appropriately named Felicia (here is a happy name if I ever saw one). He is one happy cat.

Chaton porte un chiton

Chaton porte un chiton // Chato wears a chiton

Today’s prompt is “republic”, république.

It is tricky. All the quotes I could find were either dead serious or sort of difficult to illustrate although I can’t help but share with you this one, by Georges Clemenceau:

La vie m’a appris qu’il y a deux choses dont on peut très bien se passer: la présidence de la République et la prostate.

Life has taught me that there are two things you can do without: the Presidency of the Republic and the prostate.

Aaanyway... As you can see, I decided to make it easy for myself. Just one thing though: when and why the English version of the name “Plato” did lose its terminal “n”? Even the French version has it.

Oh, and the second note: chaton means “kitten” and Chato doesn’t mean anything.

And the third: it is fun dressing the cat in various outfits.

In quarantine news: tomorrow we should be able to come out to do some individual sports and walk around, according to an age-specific schedule. There are some (many) doubts about it, because swimming in the sea, for example, is very much an individual sport, but beaches are closed, so... how is that supposed to work? Anyway, I guess we’ll see tomorrow, when everybody rushes to the beach and police starts fining people left and right.

Le merveilleux acteur

Quand intelligence et sensibilité sont en parfait équilibre, on a le merveilleux acteur //
When intelligence and sensitivity are in perfect balance, we have the most wonderful actor

Today’s prompt is “actor”, acteur.

The original English version of the quote, supposedly by Charlie Chaplin, once again proves to be somewhat elusive. He might have said something similar, of course.

The cat always wanted to be an actor. He also has great balance of intelligence and sensitivity. What he lacks is the slim stature of Charlie Chaplin, but hey, he did his best.

In quarantine news, nothing major once again. The stats keep being tentatively optimistic for Spain in general, even more so for Canaries. Yesterday, as a sign of “life returning back to normal” we got two guys with a jackhammer under our window, breaking the surface of the little side street and leaving droppings of traffic cones in their wake. I’m sure it is a positive sign, although it is kinda difficult to perceive it as one.

Conseil sans assistance

Conseil sans assistance est un corps sans âme // Advice without help is a body without a soul

Today’s prompt is “assistance”, which is the same word in French.
The quote is a French proverb.
I am not sure why the cat is carrying a log. Maybe, but not necessarily, because I’ve read too many jokes about Lenin and a log recently.
Projecting on our current circumstances, the unhelpful advisers in the picture probably don’t have any choice. Social interaction of any kind is forbidden, so they can’t just come down from their balconies and help him to log the log, so to speak.
In quarantine news, the government plan of opening up was revealed yesterday. There are five steps in it, numbered, just for the heck of it, from 0 to 4 (errm). The positive thing is that three of the Canary Islands with the best stats can proceed to the stage one (not 0) almost immediately. The negative thing is that we don’t live on one of them. The walkies and individual sports are tentatively scheduled for this Saturday, as far as I can tell. The reporting of the news is on its new low at the moment, nobody seems to check what they are publishing, and cut and haste mistakes abound.

Les plus belles agences de voyage au monde

Alors... Où pourrais-je voyager aujourd’hui? // So... where could I travel today?

Today’s prompt is “agency”, agence.

The quote by Bernard Pivot that inspired the pic goes as follows:

Les dictionnaires sont les plus belles agences de voyage au monde.

Dictionaries are the most beautiful travel agencies in the world.

I sort of understand what Bernard Pivot meant, but right now it sounds rather ironic, if not sarcastic. The answer to the cat’s rhetorical question is, of course “nowhere” (nulle part). But let’s just pretend he can, shall we?

In quarantine news, nothing major. There is one strange thing though. Over the last few days Spanish media keep reporting substantial drop in “bad” part of epidemic statistics and emphasise the “good” one, while the WHO is showing some really quite strange stats in their reports. Due to change of report procedure, one hopes. Also, having botched both the return of least skilled workers after Easter and the kids-walking business, they now seem to want to keep the rest of us staying at home forever. It’s not major of course, just the normal operation.

Mais je n’ai même pas acheté d’œufs!

Mais je n’ai même pas acheté d’œufs! // But I didn’t even buy any eggs!

Today’s prompt is “grocery”, épicerie.

The quote that served as an inspiration for the pic goes as follows:

Quand le fond d’un sac d’épicerie se fend, c’est toujours celui qui contient les oeufs.

When <the bottom of> a grocery bag splits, it’s always the one that has the eggs.

The statement is a very narrow example of Sod’s law, which is similar to Murphy’s law, except of course it was known long before Murphy was born. Strangely, Wikipedia doesn’t have a page on the Russian version of the same law — «закон подлости».

In quarantine news, yesterday Spanish kids were allowed to finally come out to walk in the street. The rules for these walks are supposedly simple and quite strict, and don’t allow for contact (and virus transfer) between kids from different families.

Well, guess what. It didn’t happen quite as planned. Of course entire families came out for walkies, and stayed out all day. Social networks exploded with photos and videos of people breaking the rules (also of course). I am happy to say that the most obnoxious examples were few, although they were propagated ad nauseam. Today, I expect a wave of memes based on the events of yesterday. Otherwise, no change, not for us at any rate. Still stuck at home.

Ok... et comment installer ce... zoom?

Ok... et comment installer ce... Zoom? // Ok... and how do I install this... Zoom?

Today’s prompt is “dad”, papa.

The quote by Michel Serres that inspired the image goes like this:

La science, c’est ce que le père enseigne à son fils. La technologie, c’est ce que le fils enseigne à son papa.

Science is what the father teaches his son. Technology is what the son teaches his dad.

Nuff said.

In quarantine news — kids are finally allowed to walk a bit, starting today, between 9 am and 9 pm. Always with adults, can’t walk more than 1 km from their home, no more than one hour, once a day, and the beaches and walled parks are still closed, but this is good news anyway.

Everybody seemed to expect a big wave of kids dragging their parents in tow splashing out of the houses at 9 am exactly. Tell you what, didn’t happen. Dog-walkers were out, kids no. Of course parents might wish to sleep in and/or spend their one hour out later. Still, curious.

C’est toujours le joueur le plus mauvais

C’est toujours le joueur le plus mauvais qui a la balle // It is always the worst player who has the ball

Today’s prompt is “player”, joueur.

The supposed Murphy’s law in the caption once again stubbornly refuses to be found in its original form. I guess somebody simply extended classic Peter Principle that “each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there” to ball games.

Obviously, the cat is not the worst player, he just refuses to follow the stupid rules imposed on him. He is quite happy playing his own game.

In quarantine news, the consideration of Canaries’ own de-quaranteening schedule was postponed by the central government. From what I can read, they, firstly, refuse to swap their own proposals, however badly thought through, to someone else’s (which is also less than perfect). Secondly, they seem to be generally reluctant to relinquish the grip they currently have on everything.

Le plus dur dans une relation, c’est de partager le silence

Le plus dur dans une relation, c’est de partager le silence // The hardest part of a relationship is sharing the silence

Today’s prompt is “relationship”, relation.

The quote above belongs to David Foenkinos, French author and screenwriter. Tell you what — it’s kind of true for extroverts. Introverts might disagree. For them (or should I say, us), the most difficult part of anything is to find that silence to share. Or at least to find a place where the noise is created by us, not by other people. That is to say, listening to our own music is fine. Being force-fed somebody else’s music is not. And if the alien music is bad, Spanish shame kicks in. Balcony-bound extroverts, please take note.

Anyway. Canaries are proposing their own schedule of coming out of quarantine, being the least affected autonomous community of Spain. The proposal, which is released via mass media, has some very interesting parts in it — like for example that one day people from houses with odd numbers can come out, the other day — with even ones. I mean, huh? I don’t even have a document where it says which number I live in... Oh well. As the example with kids shows, best to wait a few days before things become clearer.

Votez pour miaou

Votez pour miaou. Le candidat le plus honnête // Vote for meow. The most honest candidate

Today I am starting with my second batch of randomly generated prompt. Yes, obviously, we are still in quarantine.

The first prompt is “candidate”, candidat.

The cat is presenting his candidature for some elections. He promises unlimited meows any time of day, especially when he is hungry. Some purring and sitting in boxes is also included into his program. It’s a very short program really.

He is the most honest candidate, that’s why.

Je veux quitter le club!

Je veux quitter le club // I want to leave the club (I want to quit the gym)

Today’s, and the last in the batch, prompt is “membership”, appartenance / adhésion.

In out evenings in, which are basically all of them right now, we are watching Friends. By a strange coincidence, we watched yesterday the episode where Chandler wishes to quit the gym he never goes to and takes Ross with him for moral support. What with the fitness theme from yesterday, the prompt was quite easy to interpret.

In quarantine news, Spanish government announced yesterday that kids will be able to finally get out of their houses to (attention!) accompany their adults to supermarkets, pharmacies, and banks. Also go to workplaces and to care for elderly relatives. Total chaos ensued. In a few hours they backed off, explaining that that’s not what they meant. What did they mean is still a mystery, but in any case it looks like a lapsus of most spectacular kind.

We have two or three explanations. One is that it was a cut&haste error, i.e. somebody just applied what adults can do to kids. Two, that it was a strategy of “put a goat in the house with you”, “and now, take him out of the house”, i.e. first make conditions insane and unbearable, make everybody feel the pain and then retrieve the pain. (This is probably too clever). Third, there is a fifth column acting in clandestine. If so, they are successful. Even I went into “what kind of shit do they smoke there?” mode, and we don’t even have small kids.